I hate your face
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
