What did we do last night that was yellow?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
