I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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