I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
