There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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