i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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