i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Randomize
