Is it because I queefed?
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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