Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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