I'd wear matching sweaters with you
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Randomize
