the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
