I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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