Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
