I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
