Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
