she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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