This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
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