Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Randomize
