He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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