accomplished twins. life is a go
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
