ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
