I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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