I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
