The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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