I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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