i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
It's official drugs can't kill me
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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