his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
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