Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
