you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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