dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
