She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
