it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
