Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
