The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Randomize
