Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
