I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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