my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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