She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
