I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
