I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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