I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
that's an acceptable place to lick
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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