There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
