you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
