How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Randomize
