Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
no you cant smoke seaweed
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
