So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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