another moral hangover. fuck.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
