very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
