Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
