Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
i just sent this text using only my big toe
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
